AkatsukiEspada Songs
by Stalker Cat
Summary: Songs I consider perfect for these handsome bad guys.
1. Chapter 1

Me: Welcome people to the _AkatsukiEspada Songs!!_ In today's episode we will introduce the rules, judges, and contestants. Lets start with the rules.

1. DO YOUR SONG AND GET OFF THE STAGE!!!

2. DON'T BE AN ASS!!!

Me: The judges are: Me(SC), Kunoichi-at-heart71318(K-a-t71318), Kiyoki Fujimoto97(KF97), an-uhhh were is our other judge? *looks at empty seat*

Director: I heard that there was traffic going on, that judge won't be here in awhile.

SC: ohhhhh….I see… well anyway lets meat our contestants first off are the Espadas.

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Yammy: Sup

Stark: *snoring*

Barragan: Bow down to me

Crowd: BOOOO!!!!

Harribel: ….hi

Szayel: Hello…kukukukukuku *creepy music plays*

Grimmjow: hey *smirks*

Crowd: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! WE LOVE YOU GRIMMJOW!!!!

Ulquiorra: ….

Nnoitora: Sup mother fuckers

Zommari: Greetings

Aaroniero: hi *smiles*

SC: KYAAAAA!! I LUVZS YOU GRIMMJOW!!!ULQUIORRA!!!

KF97: CAN YOU NOT SCREM IN MY EAR!!! *punches SC*

SC: Owww!!! BLODDY FUCK!!! That hurts!!

K-a-t71318: Yeah saw that coming. Our next guests are the Akatsuki.

Hidan: THE FUCK WE GET HERE!?!?

Kakuzu: Shut up religious bastard!

Sasori: …..

Pein: Why are we here again?

Zetsu: I don't know but I'm hungry

Deidara: Hey, yeah *smiles*

Crowd: KYAAAAAAA!!!!!

Konan: Hello

Tobi: TOBI"S A GOOD BOY!!!

Kisame: Hey *smirks*

Itachi: Hn

Orochimaru: Kukukukukukuku *creepier music plays*

SC: KYAAAA!!! I LUVZS YOU TOO ZETSU!!!! TOBI!!!!!! KAKUZU!!! HIDAN!!!

KF97: SHUT UP!!! *glares*

SC: *cough* Well anyway that ends today's episode. This will be updated every Friday along with my other stories. We are still missing our fourth judge hope someone can take its place.

Everyone: THANK YOU FOR READING NOW REVIEW.

Me: *whisper* I do not own bleach or naruto, neither KF97 or K-a-t71318 they own themselves. *whisper*


	2. Chapter 2

Me: Hello and welcome to another exciting episode of _AkatsukiEspada Songs. _Today's contestants are ***pauses for dramatic effect* **SZAYEL AND ILFORTE!!!!! ***claps* **

Szayel**:*walks on stage, grabs microphone* **Thank you.

Ilforte: ***walks on stage, grabs other microphone* **Yes thank you.

Me: START THE MUSIC!!!

Random Person(RP): GOT IT!!! ***flips switch and music starts playing***

Szayel:

_How d'you do, ISee you've met myFaithful handyman. __He's just a little brought downBecause when you knockedHe thought you were the candy 't get strung up by the way I look. _***walks to the front of the stage***_Don't judge a book by its cover.I'm not much of a man by the light of dayBut by night I'm one hell of a lover. _***moves his hand up his leg slowly***

_I'm just a sweet transvestiteFrom Transexual, Transylvania. _***slowly moves his hips around***

_Let me show you aroundMaybe play you a look like you're both pretty if you want something visualThat's not too abysmal,We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie._

RP:

_I'm glad we caught you at home,Could we use your phone?We're both in a bit of a hurry. *_**pulls RP2 closer* **

RP2:

_Right. *_**nods head***RP:

_We'll just say where we are,Then go back to the don't want to be any worry._

Szayel:

_Well you got caught with a flat, well, how `bout that?Well, babies, don't you the light of the night it'll all seem alright.I'll get you a satanic mechanic._

_I'm just a sweet transvestiteFrom Transexual, don't you stay for the night?_

Ilforte: _Night!!_

Szayel:

_Or maybe a bite? _

Ilforte:

_Bite!!_

Szayel:

_I could show you my favourite obsession. _***winks at audience***_I've been making a man *_**walks over to Ilforte***_With blond hair and a tan *_**slowly caresses his hair***_And he's good for relieving my... ...tension _***grabs his chin and slowly licks his cheek* **_I'm just a sweet transvestiteFrom Transexual, Transylvania, ha ha, HEY, HEY!_

_I'm just a sweet transvestite. (Sweet transvestite)From Transexual, Transylvania. *_**moves hips around slowly***

_So - come up to the lab,And see what's on the slab.I see you shiver with antici _***pauses*** _ maybe the rainIsn't really to I'll remove the cause. _***chuckles***_But not the symptom_.

Crowd: O.O

Me: ***stands up* **WOOOO!!! ***claps hands*** HOW DID U KNOW THAT WAZ MEH FAV SONG!?!?!?!? AWESOME!!!

K-a-t71318: O.e

KF97: e.e

Me:** *looks at judges*** Wa? You two ok.

K-a-t71318P: that waz disturbing

KF97: yeah. Mentally scarred.

Szayel: ***glares at two* **humph! Sucks if you can't appreciate good music!

Me & Orochimaru: YEAH!!!

K-a-t71318: you ***points at me* **are weird.

Orochimaru: wat about me?

KF97: you're already weird

Oro: oh yea….

Me: well that ends today's episode…..oh! And for our other judge ***looks at dusty seat* **were still waiting for him or her. If only you were here. ***starts crying***

Espada: THANK YOU FOR READING NOW REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!

KF97 & K-a-t71318: It ***points to me*** does not own us, akatsuki or espada only herself.

Me: if only


	3. Chapter 3

**KF97: soo yeah….*twitching***

**K-a-t71318: well any way Itachi is next *fidgety***

**Me: ehh he's not that grate *looks at girls***

**KF97 & K-a-t71318: WHAT!?!?!?!?**

**Me: what do you mean 'wat'!! he has a stick up his ass that goes in deeper every minute!! I mean Penis has one too but his isn't that deep!! *frowns***

**Pein, Itachi : *glare***

**Itachi n Pein fan girls: BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! GO TO HELL STALKER!!!!!!! *throw random stuff at me***

**Me: AHHHHHHHH!!!!! *escapes through back door***

**KF97: lets get on with the show**

**K-a-t71318: yea**

_***music starts***_

**Itachi:**_**I'm bringing sexy backThem other boys don't know how to actI think you're special, what's behind your back?So turn around and I'll pick up the 'em to the bridge**_

_**Dirty babeYou see the shacklesBaby I'm your slaveI'll let you whip me if I misbehaveIt's just that no one makes me feel this wayTake 'em to the chorus**_**RP:**_**Come here girlGo ahead, be gone with itCome to the backGo ahead, be gone with itVIPGo ahead, be gone with itDrinks on meGo ahead, be gone with itLet me see what you're twerking withGo ahead, be gone with itLook at those hipsGo ahead, be gone with itYou make me smileGo ahead, be gone with itGo ahead childGo ahead, be gone with itAnd get your sexy onGo ahead, be gone with itGet your sexy onGo ahead, be gone with itGet your sexy on**_**Itachi:**_**I'm bringing sexy backThem other fuckers don't know how to actCome let me make up for the things you lack'Cause you're burning up I gotta get it fastTake 'em to the bridge**_**RP:**

_**Come here girlGo ahead, be gone with itCome to the backGo ahead, be gone with itVIPGo ahead, be gone with itDrinks on meGo ahead, be gone with itLet me see what you're twerking withGo ahead, be gone with itLook at those hipsGo ahead, be gone with itYou make me smileGo ahead, be gone with it**_

_**Go ahead childGo ahead, be gone with itAnd get your sexy onGo ahead, be gone with itGet your sexy onGo ahead, be gone with itGet your sexy on**_

**Itachi:**_**I'm bringing sexy backYou mother fuckers watch how I attackIf that's your girl you better watch your backCause she'll burn it up for me and that's a factTake 'em to the chorus*music ends***_

Itachi fg:KKKKKKKKKKYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! WE LOVE YOU ITACHI!!!! GIVE US YOUR SEXYNESSS!!!!

KF97: I give him a 100000000000000000/5

K-a-t71318: exactly!!!

Me: 2/5 cuz you didn't dance around like Szayel *shakes head*

Itachi: *glares*

Fangirls: YOU SUCK!!!*throw more stuff*

KF97 n K-a-t71318: yeah!!!!!*throw rocks*

Me:AHHHHH YET AGAIN!!!!!!! REEEEVVVIIIEEEEWWW-AHHHHHHH!!!!! *runs to exit*

_

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_

Songs: sexy back-Justin Timberlake

Last chappy : Sweet transvestite- rocky horror picture show

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT ME!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

Me: Next up iz Hidan and Grimmjow.

Fangirls: KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

KF97: My ears are going to bleed!!!

K-a-t71318: *nod*

Grimm & Hidan: *smirk*

_*music starts* _

Hidan:

_I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my loveLove's going to leave meI'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirtSo sexy it hurts And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for MilanNew York and Japan_

Grimmjow:_And I'm too sexy for your partyToo sexy for your partyNo way I'm disco dancingI'm a model you know what I meanAnd I do my little turn on the catwalkYeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeahI do my little turn on the catwalk_

Hidan & Grimm:_I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my carToo sexy by farAnd I'm too sexy for my hatToo sexy for my hat what do you think about thatI'm a model you know what I meanAnd I do my little turn on the catwalkYeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeahI shake my little touche on the catwalk __*but shake*_

Hidan:_I'm too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my'Cos I'm a model you know what I meanAnd I do my little turn on the catwalkYeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeahI shake my little touche on the catwalk_

Grimm:_I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my catPoor pussy poor pussy catI'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my loveLove's going to leave me_

Grimm & Hidan:_And I'm too sexy for this song_

Fangirls: HOLY SHIT!!!!! _*nosebleed*_

KF97: _*blush* _e-e-ehm

K-a-t71318: _*blush* _u-u-u-uhh

Me: _*faints from blood loss*_

RP: *sigh* due to the contestants tactics the judges aren't able to speak. I mean I can't blame them that was like XXXX rated shit right there. **(Background: get on with the fuckin' speech moron!!!) **Ah. Right _*cough* _the song used is; I'm too sexy by Right Said Fred. SC,KF97, n K-a-t71318 don't naruto or bleach the thing they DO own is themselves. Oh! And may the other judge come quickly the end.

Espada: PLEASE REVIEW PPLE!!!!!!!!


	5. Barlights Fun

**Me: Next is….uhh let me see here *looks at paper* KAKUZU YOUR UP!!!!**

**Kakuzu: Yeah, yeah **_***mumble* **_**I better get paid for this **_***mumble***_

_***grabs mike* **_**I hate you Stalker Cat ohh soo much for making me do this.**

**Me: I luv you to Kuzu. start the music!!**

**RP: got it! **_***music starts playing***_

**Kakuzu: **

_**Never in all of my life**_

_**Have I seen eyes as empty as these streets of my cityon a Saturday night,all the green of your eyes says "Go, leave it all behind."**_

_**But I don't need to be reminded a change is gonna come.**_

_**I can feel it on the tip of your I feel alive.**_

_**We met up once we'd settled the sun**_

_**Between the heat and the work week**_

_**The fear is we could use some sleepbut sleep to a superfluous man means better use for bedsand I'll bet I'm coming home alone tonight.**_

_**I don't need to be reminded that this is how it was.**_

_**I moved on, I passed a billboard down my blockthat asks if I've had enough, and aloud I say "I've had too much"when the truth is, I'm just getting all the barlights are blinking in timeto Mexican music, it's taunting the pavementand I feel of us sings, and one of us drinks,and one of us has nothing at all.**_

_**So he calls us all sheep**_

_**I'm the Little Bo Peep of the bunch.(I take their tales and I'm ready to go)**_

_**Then he swears he's gotta take this call**_

_**Man, I get scared he's gonna leave us too soon.**_

_**We were the get rich quick kids,**_

_**We never got it right**_

_**So we settled for the center of town**_

_**Where all the rich white kids is out looking for a fightgot the blond one staring me I really wanna take a swing**_

_**I can't help but remember James Dean**_

_**See we are part of the few who agreethat hey, he lived life fastbut he died.**_

_**he , I'm gonna live all the barlights are blinking in timeto Mexican music, it's taunting the pavementand for the first time,in a long time,**_

_**I feel alive. **_

**KF97: I like it fits him perfectly**

**K-a-t71318: **_***nod* **_**yeah**

**Me: I felt like crying **

**RP: Better than what the other two did huh. **_***turns to judges* **_**Holy Shit are y'all okay!?!?!?**

**Me: **_***blush/mega nosebleed***_

**K-a-t71318: **_***blush/mumbling strange things***_

**KF97 : **_***faints***_

**RP: Aww Crap not again**

* * *

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR BLEACH THEY BELONG TO THEIR OWNERS!!!!**

**K-a-t71318 & KF97 own themselves.**


	6. Animal I have BecomeThree Days Grace

Me: Aaan~~~~nd were back from a very long commercial.*gets hit w/ rock*

Keiji: too fucking long.

Me: owww! Okay I get it, fag! Now stop following me. This isn't your story.! *glare*

Keiji: wat-fuckin'-ever. *walks off*

KF97: Anyway *punches* (me: oww!) the next person is Nnoitora.

K-a-t71318: please come out. *kicks* (me: ahh!*falls*)

Nnoitora: heh. About fuckin' time. _*grabs microphone* _Start the music ass!

RP: *mumble*at least say please*mumble* _*music starts*_

Nnoitora:

_I can't escape this hell_

_So many times I've tried_

_But I'm still caged inside_

_Somebody get me through this nightmare_

_I can't control myself_

_So what if you can see the darkest side of me No one will ever change this animal I have become_

_Help me believe it's not the real meSomebody help me tame this animal!_

_This animal, this animal __*screams into micro*_

_I can't escape myself_

_So many times I've liedBut there's still rage inside_

_Somebody get me through this nightmare_

_I can't control myself _

_*smirks/flicks crowd off*_

_So what if you can see the darkest side of me_

_No one will ever change this animal I have become_

_Help me believe it's not the real me_

_Somebody help me tame this animal I have become_

_*grips microphone/closes eyes*_

_Help me believe it's not the real me_

_Somebody help me tame this animal_

_Somebody help me through this nightmare_

_I can't control myself_

_Somebody wake me from this nightmare_

_I can't escape this hell_

_This animal, this animal This animal, this animal This animal, this animal This animal_

_So what if you can see the darkest side of me_

_No one will ever change this animal I have become_

_Help me believe it's not the real me_

_Somebody help me tame this animal I have become_

_Help me believe it's not the real me_

_Somebody help me tame this animal!_

_This animal I have become __*screams into micro*_

Crowd: WHOOOOOOO!

K-a-t71318: It fit him quite nicely

KF97: aye

Me: *sadly claps* hurray

Everyone: now..*turn to SC* lets end this quickly

Me: AHHHHHHH! *runs*

Akatsuki n Espadas not mine. Neither does K-a-t71318 n KF97 they own themselves.


	7. Human The Killers

KF97: *coughs* due to some uhhh…problems SC won't be joining us to day, I think

K-a-t71318: yeah…. ULQUIORRA!

Ulquiorra: …._*grabs microphone*_

RP: music starting!

Ulquiorra:

_I did my best to notice_

_When the call came down the line_

_Up to the platform of surrender _

_*smile starts forming*_

_I was brought but I was kind_

_And sometimes I get nervous_

_When I see an open door_

_Close your eyes, clear your heart_

_Cut the cord_

_Are we human or are we dancer?_

_My sign is vital, my hands are cold_

_And I'm on my knees looking for the answer_

_Are we human or are we dancer?_

_Pay my respects to grace and virtue_

_Send my condolences to good_

_Give my regards to soul and romance_

_They always did the best they could_

_And so long to devotion_

_*smiles/dances a little*_

_You taught me everything I know_

_Wave goodbye, wish me well_

_You've gotta let me go_

_Are we human or are we dancer?_

_My sign is vital, my hands are cold_

_And I'm on my knees looking for the answer_

_Are we human or are we dancer?_

_Will your system be alright_

_When you dream of home tonight?_

_There is no message we're receiving_

_Let me know, is your heart still beating?_

_Are we human or are we dancer?_

_My sign is vital, my hands are cold_

_And I'm on my knees looking for the answer_

_You've gotta let me know_

_*closes eyes/smile widens*_

_Are we human or are we dancer?_

_My sign is vital, my hands are cold_

_And I'm on my knees looking for the answer_

_Are we human or are we dancer?_

_Are we human or are we dancer?_

_Are we human or are we dancer?_

_*opens eyes/returns to normal self*_

KF97: *cries* why is it so beautiful.

K-a-t71318: *sniffs* idk

Me: soo hes not a tight-ass *about to cry*

don't own bleach or naruto, neither do K-a-t71318 or KF97 they own themselves


	8. Show Me Love Tatu

K-a-t71318: next are Harribel and Konan

Me: yea

KF97: enjoy

Konan n Harribel: _*grab mikes*_

_*music starts*_

Harribel:

_This was an accident_

_Not the kind where sirens sound_

_Never even noticed_

_We're suddenly crumbling_

_Tell me how you've never felt_

_Delicate or innocent_

_Do you still have doubts that_

_Us having faith makes any sense _

_Tell me nothing ever counts_

_Lashing out or breaking down_

_Still somebody loses 'cause_

_There's no way to turn around_

_Staring at your photograph_

_Everything now in the past_

_Never felt so lonely I_

_Wish that you could show me love_

Konan:

_Show me love, show me love, show me love,_

_Show me love, show me love_

_'Til you open the door_

_Show me love, show me love, show melove,_

_Show me love, show me love,_

_'Til I'm up off the floor_

_Show me love, show me love show me love,Show me love, show me love,_

_'Til it's inside my pores_

_Show me love, show me love, show me love,Show me love, show me love,_

_'Til I'm screaming for moreRandom acts of mindlessness_

Harribel:

_Commonplace occurrences_

_Chances and surprises_

_Another state of consciousnessTell me nothing ever counts_

_Lashing out or breaking down_

_Still somebody loses 'cause_

_There's no way to turn around_

_Tell me how you've never felt_

_Delicate or innocent_

_Do you still have doubts that_

_Us having faith makes any senseYou play games, I play tricks_

_Girls and girls, but you're the one_

_Like a game of pick-up sticks_

_Played by fucking lunatics_

Konan & Harribel:

_Show me love, show me love_

_Give me all that I want_

_Show me love, Show me love_

_'Til I'm screaming for more _

Me: they do need more love

KF97:yea

K-a-t71318: so true

Me: anyway i found this thing in mah desk drawer, says the other host is coming soon, during tobi's performance. well hope u get here.

bleach naruto does not belong to me or other host. the host own themselves.


End file.
